Back in the 70s there was disco, and there was the swinger scene. Wife-swapping, sex parties, free love, and shenanigans in the Hollywood tubs weren’t necessarily mainstream, but it was common enough that you probably knew someone who was involved.
Then AIDS came along in the 80s, some very serious paranoia, some talk of God’s revenge, and “family values” became something politicians talked about.
I suppose “open relationships” have always been a thing.
But these days, the “swinger” scene is back, it’s bigger than ever (at least from my observation point), and it’s got a brand new name and sense of legitimacy.
These days, most of the people calling themselves “polyamorous” will tell you that swingers are just in it for the sex– it’s all about party sex. And if you’re single, playing the field, and having sex with more than one partner, you’re just… well… single. And it’s all good…
But if you’re “poly,” then that means you have a real, committed relationship with your romantic partner but you’re not sexually exclusive. You both maintain your rights to sexual freedom.
I would say that about half of my close friends label themselves poly, and for the most part, they believe that maintaining their sexual freedom, and more importantly, GIVING their partner sexual freedom is very sophisticated and savvy. Some of them will even come right out and say, anyone who is still monogamous is just insecure and possessive and needs to get over their ego.
Needless to say, some of the monogamous folks have a pretty strong judgement of the poly lifestyle as well.
The way I see it, whoever is doing the judging, whether from the poly side or the monogamous side, is the probably the insecure person in the equation.
There is also a TON of fake science out there claiming that the natural state of affairs for humans is this way or that way. And let me put that to rest for you right now:
It’s all nonsense.
Studies on primitive cultures show conclusively that there is no “normal” for sexual behavior among humans. We are, continuously, a product of the culture, customs, and stories of the social matrix we grow up in. The number of permutations of sexual union that have existed from tribe to tribe, culture to culture, and civilization to civilization would blow your mind.
Traditional Western culture is that if you grow up as a man, you are told that you will desire all women, but you must marry one, and that “normal” is to publicly declare sexual fidelity while privately cheating.
But “traditional” has changed a great deal through the ages, and I believe we’re in the middle of a change right now.
I found the video below extraordinarily non-shocking (and I think the folks who made it intended to shock us a bit)…
But I would LOVE to get YOUR opinion. I’d love to hear what the Allman Report readers think, and what our lifestyle’s look like.
If you have a minute, watch this little video (it’s short, it’s cute, it may or may not be weird to you).
And then take my mini-survey, and if you have more to say about it, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!