Here’s something for you to try the next time you are going down town for cranking up the heat…
Most of us love both receiving and GIVING oral sex, and it’s FUN to be good at it.
When you’re good at oral sex, when you really understand how to integrate it into your love making in a powerful way, it builds great intimacy, makes you feel empowered, and sets you up for sexual success.
But for a lot of men and women it remains an area of uncertainty and it can erode confidence, and make you feel uncomfortable and powerless in the bedroom when you’re not sure you really know what you’re doing.
Here’s a little technique that works for both men and women, it’s easy, and it taps into some of the most primal wiring of our sexual instincts.
…Plus, when you understand how and why this works, it gives you some important insights into really “getting” what it takes to be great at oral sex.
Here’s how simple it is to do it:
When you’re going down, whatever you are doing with your lips and tongue, take hold of your lover’s hips and guide them in a thrusting or grinding motion against your mouth.
This triggers instant and powerful feelings of animal arousal because the movement of the hips is a natural, wired-in part of reproductive intercourse. Humans are wired to move their hips and thrust towards each other during orgasm.
If you’re going down on a woman…
Take hold of her hips firmly and pull her pussy firmly against your mouth. Use her hips to control the motion up and down instead of moving just your tongue or your head up and down.
She’ll feel your passion, your masculine strength, your masculine leading and direction, and it will drive her wild.
More importantly, for most women it can be psychologically difficult to grind their hips into your face when you are going down on them (even though they may feel a strong urge to do it!)… it feels like it might be too much, like it might be overly aggressive. But because they are used to being able to grind during intercourse or masturbation, this can affect her ability to reach orgasm.
When you pull her in closer, your passion is infectious and it gives her permission to move her hips more freely and reach faster and more powerful orgasms.
If you’re going down on a man…
Men have a deeply wired instinct to thrust, to penetrate…
But we also have all kinds of thoughts in our head about whether or you like going down on us, if it’s okay to thrust (will you feel objectified? used?), and of course, a fear of gagging you (a fear you may share).
When you place your hands on your man’s hips or even grab him by the buns, and you pull him into your mouth, giving him permission to thrust, it frees up his masculine sexual energy and makes him feel super-aroused and powerful.
He’s going to like that feeling, and so are you.
It also psychologically/emotionally tells him that you accept and enjoy his cock, his masculine sexuality, and this does a lot of very good things for his ability to open up his full range of sexual passion for you.
If you are indeed afraid that you might end up gagging from encouraging his thrusting, make a fist around the base of his penis so that your index finger and thumb make a circle at the point you are comfortable taking him into your mouth. You can squeeze firmly to give him a feeling of tightness, and pull the skin back towards the base slightly to make the skin at the tip even more sensitive. Then you can use your fingers as a stop-point for his thrust against your mouth…
And, of course, you can still use your other hand to pull his hips towards you.
If he gets to aggressive, you’re allowed to stop, smile up at him, and say, “easy tiger!”
As with every sexual technique that I teach, remember that first and foremost, all humans are different, and you need to pay attention to your lover more than you pay attention to the technique.
Not everyone likes everything the same way, and paying attention allows you to make the sometimes small adjustments that can mean the difference between ennui and ecstasy.
And, likewise, only use the techniques that you enjoy, that you yourself think are hot. Your own enjoyment, turn-on, and passion are going to do more to give your lover a great experience than anything you read in any blog.
I look forward to any comments, suggestions, or results you get from playing with this little “lips and hips” downtown discernment…