Here’s the typical thing I hear every time I talk to a couple (and most of the time when I talk to singles):
Men think that if they have to initiate sex every time it must mean that the woman in their life has less interest in sex, a lower sex drive, and is only having sex as a favor to him.
This makes men feel sexually undesirable, and constantly insecure about their role as a masculine and sexual partner in relationship to women.
Women think that if they initiate sex too often then they are not successful in the game of being attractive and alluring. They feel like if they are asking for sex, they are breaking the societal rule around being “slutty” and that men will respect and value them less.
This makes women feel undesired, confused, and sexually resentful.
How’s that working out for most couples?
Not so well.
If I could solve this, on a deep level, for all the couples in the world, I’d be very happy… even though I would have to go into a new business!