The wonderful, scary, sexy, intriguing, and difficult thing about going down on your partner is that there is so much psychological and emotional STUFF there.

Some women LOVE to go down on their partners some women find it unpleasant and look for any excuse to avoid it, and some women just have an uneasy relationship to it and aren’t sure how they ought to feel.

Likewise there are some men who think it’s the very BEST PART of making love… and some men who don’t like it all.
But the fact is, for any couple, there is a powerful possibility of oral sex becoming a deep and profound part of love-making that can create a huge amount of fun, pleasure, and deeper intimacy in your relationship.
Here are 3 tips for you to consider that could ignite some serious passion from you visit downtown

1) Use Your Hands

In studies where male partners were BLINDFOLDED, the majority of men preferred manual stimulation to oral.
Yet your partner is likely to have told you that manual is boring, he can do it for himself that way, and what he wants is the soft acceptance of your mouth.

So what’s going on here?

It’s not that men are confused and don’t know what they want…
It’s that sexual pleasure is much more about the head and the heart than friction on the genitals. (Yep, even for men).
For a man, there is something profoundly powerful about his lover taking him into her mouth. It is an act of powerful ACCEPTANCE. It communicates more powerfully than almost anything, that you think his sexuality is GOOD.

As boys we grow up with shame around our desires and around our penis (which we learn early we have to HIDE at all times). The message is that there is something disgusting or WRONG about our bodies and desires.
On some deeply buried emotional level, oral sex says to your man: “You don’t find my body disgusting.

You accept me. You surrender to and trust me.”
But…
There’s still that study that showed that men who couldn’t see what was going on preferred the hand…
So to make it feel great, a helping hand is a key element to add to the fun.
Experiment with it– stroking, gripping the base, making a ring with your fingers and
running it up and down… and, of course, don’t
forget the rest of his body–
Stroking his chest, arms, back, and face can spread the pleasure throughout his body.

2) Use Your Eyes

In the study I talked about above, the men were blindfolded, but in real life the opposite is true.
Men are visually stimulated creatures and he probably wants to WATCH you work your magic.

And the vast majority of men that I have surveyed on this subject have talked about the deep and powerful thrill they get when the woman going down on them looks up at them and makes eye contact.

Being able to see your face during the act is a big turn-on for most men. It validates the acceptance that I was talking about above, it connects him deeply to you as a person, a lover, and as a woman. It connects you both on a human level of shared experience.
It may be difficult to maintain eye contact the entire time without hurting your neck – but sprinkling it in when possible can be far more powerful than any tongue (or hand) technique.

A strategically placed mirror can also be used in a thousand creative ways to drive him wild with desire.

3) Use Your Control

“Control” is an interesting quality because it runs across a long scale between, “he is in control,” “you are in control,” and you are both equally “sharing control.”

And as I’m typing this I’m wondering if “control” is too harsh a word for what I am communicating here… so let me continue by example:
Maybe you can remember a time in your early teens when dancing with boys meant that you had to take the lead and sort of shove them around where they should go so that you could do you thing…

Lift his arm and spin underneath, push him backwards or pull him forwards. But a couple of years later, some of the boys had learned to dance and when you tried to lead as usual, a mini-battle would break out, shoving and pulling at each other to decide where you should be dancing.

Love making can be the same way. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out who is leading. At times you both have an idea of what should happen next, and at other times neither of you wants to take control and the whole thing seems to go limp and tentative and passion evaporates.

Just being CONSCIOUS of who is leading and how much control you are GIVING or TAKING… just being aware of the colors that you can paint with in this area can take your lovemaking to the next level.

When you BALANCE control, you are organically feeling into your partner for what he wants, what is working, where he is squirming for you to go next. You can feel the thrust of his hips and you know to take him deeper, you can sense the rhythm of his desire and you both play into the growing excitement (or the need to slow down when the excitement grows to great).

It is a beautiful interplay.
But not the ONLY beautiful interplay…
When you TAKE control, you can tease and drive a man crazy far beyond his comfort level, and give him unexpected experiences.

You might playfully throw him onto his back and shoot him an evil smile as you grab his wrists and let him know that YOU are in control now.

You might even say, “lay back, baby, it’s my turn to play,” and then TAKE control.
Then you can tease, tickle, bring him up and down, and bring him close to insanity with your teasing. You can show him unexpected things.

And, finally, you can completely GIVE control and offer yourself in complete surrender.
Now this can be scary or uncomfortable for some women, but it can also be a huge turn-on for both of you.

In completely surrendering control you might want to have him standing and be on your knees in front of him. And instead of being active, you might place his hands on your head and allow him to use his hips to control the motion. Let him know that your body is his and for his pleasure. Eye contact can be extraordinarily powerful in this scenario. It could bring him to his knees with desire and vulnerability.

Why does your surrender bring out HIS vulnerability?

Because you are giving him the deep, animal masculinity that he may have dared not admit to desiring in any other area of his life…ever.
Again, this can feel threatening or even demeaning to a woman. In that case, you should not feel compelled to do it. It must be organic and comfortable to YOU and where you are emotionally in your relationship to him (and to your self).

It may also be threatening to HIM. For a man that grew up in an everyone-is-equal liberal culture, a life-time of conditioning may make him feel like taking control during love making is demeaning to his partner. He may not be able to comfortably access his animal desires.

It’s interesting to note how when YOU take control, nobody is troubled, but in our culture there is a real (and unfortunate) taboo against a man taking sexual control even in a consensual relationship.

This could be dangerous territory for your relationship… or it could be the most extraordinary gold-mine of opportunity to take your intimacy to a new depth.
The choice is yours, but if you do experiment with this sort of surrender of control you may discover a powerful flood of new intimacy and trust with your man.
All of these tips are for YOU. They are yours to try or to discard as you see fit. I recommend you approach them with curiosity and playfulness and see where they lead you.

And when you are ready for more great tips, check out my FREE newsletter, “THE ALLMAN REPORT: FOR HER”