I just made a video on a subject that WOMEN are always asking me about:
How to give a man the best oral sex experience of his entire life.
There are a lot of tips and techniques out there, but I never hear anyone talking about the what I believe is the absolute, #1, most
POWERFUL way to rock our worlds…
I want to know if you agree.
Plus, it would be really cool if you wanted to leave a comment or tip that would be helpful for my female readers.
You can see this video on youtube right here: How To Give A Great Blowjob
I agree that the reason we can all appreciate a great blow job is mainly psychological. The result is appealing, and pleasurable, and certainly a source for ultimate approval, but what then occurs within the mind of those who are in relationships with people that do not practice oral sex. There are many women who find the act gross, uncomfortable, and just plain ‘icky’. How does a man feel when the acceptance and dominance issues are flat out denied? Of course there are many ways to skin a cat so things work out in the end, but will there be permanent issues with the relationship if there is NEVER any blow jobs at all? Can the relationship withstand the psychological pain inflicted on men who crave oral sex but never receive it? What can he do if these topics have been discussed but to no avail?
A most invigorating explanation of why men find a blowjob so stimulating and erotic. I cannot add anything to your description which, in my limited opinion, is entirely accurate and spot on!
I would add one thing about technique: Ladies, no teeth!!! Please be careful not to gnaw on your man’s engorged organ. Warm, soft, and moist are the key components in a pleasant bj. It is not pleasant when you feel sharp teeth on the head of your cock–especially when it’s hyperextended.
When making eye contact, perhaps get feedback from your man. “Everything okay, honey?” “How does that feel?” “Do you need me to do anything different?”
Make your man talk to you.
As you try different techniques, ask him for feedback. Make it part of the sexy chatter. Whisper in his ear, “Do you like that? Tell me what you want.”
Like every other aspect of your relationship, communication is key. But you won’t know if you’re hurting him if you don’t ask for specific feedback. Watch his facial expressions, learn the difference between pain and pleasure.
I actually prefer to feel teeth. I risk getting nicked occasionally, but by gawd I love a real aggressive BJ. I had to tell my partner to stop trying to cover her teeth with her lips. So obviously a person needs to determine what the receiver likes.
I have been told by more than one man that I give the best blow job they have ever had. I’m not bragging, just letting you know my opinion/advice is creditable. I love to do it. I WANT to do it. That’s makes all the difference in the world. I make love to his penis with my mouth. I do all the things in the video plus an occasionally pressing down against my tonsils (I cannot deep throat) to show him I want it as deep as it will go. I usually get a gasp or groan on that one and it wasn’t mentioned. I continue to switch up until he cant take it anymore and then I stick to a rhythm that will finish him. Or he wants to jump into intercourse and finish. I have also notice that men can have what I consider a mind orgasm and you can keep him up on the edge for quite some time. Oh, on the swallowing part, a lot of men like to see it in your mouth before you swallow. It’s validation, like a gold medal for him and a reward from him to me for my effort.
amen sister
Amazing video. Everything you said was exactly what I have thought! So great to see a 7 minute video on how to give great head and almost no mention of techniques. The techniques don’t matter! (mostly). As I like to say, it’s all about loving it! Thanks Allman!!!
All good points, but if he would rather have a hand job with lube, then you don’t know what you’re doing. Eye contact with enthusiasm!! Think of it as a “performance” because you do have an audience of one. Also, good point by Fate49, (“men like to see it in your mouth before you swallow”) or let it drip down the side and then lick it all up. Wow!!! These are all just easy-to-do techniques for women that don’t want to learn how to deep throat. Yes, it is a learn skill like anything else and taking the time to learn (and practice) scores HUGE points.
For me at 42, and after many blowjobs given to me over the years, there were a few that stuck out in my mind as ‘best ever’! In particular it’s my wife who got it all right and whose suction was likened to that of a hoover vacuum. She approached it like she desperately trying to get a very thick milkshake up the straw. Drove me wild! I’m notoriously difficult to please but what other girlfriend in my youth took 30 to 40 mins to achieve, she could manage in 4 to 5 mins. She told me that she read a book called Jack’s Blowjob Lessons, and that it’s the best resource she found about blowjobs. I totally agree with her, hehe.
You are pretty much spot on with your description of blow jobs and the importance of them in a good relationship. Attitude, it cannot be emphasized too much. Love me, love my dick!
A woman’s mind set and how she treats her man are the key. She must want to bring him as much pleasure as possible. For two reasons. The first and perhaps the most obvious is his pleasure and satisfaction. And his sense of acceptance. That you accept him and desire him. The second reason, one rarely heard about, is her pleasure and satisfaction.
This could be said about both partners in a sexual relationship. If you do not derive pleasure from giving pleasure, if getting your partner off sexually does not get you off personally then something is wrong.
One tip. If sufficient saliva is for some reason difficult to create then use Pure Virgin Coconut Oil. This stuff is amazing. It is clear and water soluble. Remains slippery for extended periods. Mixes well with saliva and is readily available at any grocery store. It tastes pretty good and is inexpensive. It is also a great oil to use for overall body massages. As a side bonus it is the best oil there is for making popcorn. Not withstanding the health fanatics who insist that it is too high in cholesterol.
Here is one technique and source of stimulation that I have not seen on any site so far. It is one of my favorites. For me this works best lying down. She lies next to him with her head resting on his stomach with her dominate hand free. While sucking his dick she uses two fingers to gently massage him. The place for this massage is located at the base of the penis. Just follow the thick ridge on the underside of his penis down with your finger tips until you are well into the ball sack. Then gently massage this area right on top of the ridge with slight downward pressure in a circular motion. You will know by his response when you are in the right place.
You can occasionally move your hand up the shaft to give him some stroking and then return to the massaging. If he can stand it, continue the massage through his orgasm.
the best blow job was just a friend, a first date and she enjoyed it, loved it, it was a art form.
when we were done I asked her how she learn how to do it?
she said she studied, practiced and practiced, focusing on slow and enjoyable
And I could tell she enjoyed what she was doing vs. just doing it to make me happy!! (but she really did)
I will never forget her:)
I bought Alex’s book/audio program revolutionary sex. I love your work Alex and would recommend this program to all women out there. I have been married for 10 years and because of you sex is better than ever. You have helped me achieve better more powerful orgasms. I am a woman who loves men
I totally agree with this tip. I’ve noticed the difference myself when I enjoy giving a blow job and when I’m not. It is definitely the tip of the ice burg of the best blow job. When the woman enjoys giving the blow job, she will get turned on by seeing her man get turned on and he can see your reaction to this. Eye contact is key as well, another important point. I speak from experience, I feel this makes a connection between the partners, exchanging such intimate act, not only in a sexual way but also in a psychological way. I also believe some men like to be physical connection, not only where people would assume the most, on the balls, but also touch the arms, thighs, stomach, ect. It’s a great experience when both parties are open and confidence about their sexuality, in my opinion.
I love receiving blow jobs. Her tongue under the head of my penis oh so good. Rubbing my balls as she sucks my cock and her hand stroking my rod licking and kissing my dick.
Hey Alex
Your tips can be used either ways and the one on focussing on your own pleasure is Gold!
As a man when I perform cunnilingus on my wife the real SHIFT came when I started to focus my attention on how i enjoyed myself rather than how i was pleasing her. Now I make love to her vagina with my mouth – kissing it, licking it, nibbling it – and she just loves it! What really drives her crazzzzzy is when I rub my nose gently and give her a nose-fuck… Another tip that works is when I make slurping noises while devouring her.
Keep up the great work on providing authentic advice. Bless you man!
This video was quite helpful. But one thing that I would like to say is a blow job isn’t completely just for males. With my man when I give him a blow job I absolutely love doing it. It pleases him and it’s exciting for me. I do have to say one thing that some guys like is what some people may call the hurricane. The top half of the cock in your mouth while using your hand on the bottom half. When using your hand you kind of twist your hand in a hurricane motion. I hear guys loves it.
I love looking at my husband when I am giving him a blow job! Giving my husband blow jobs , turns me on!
Ive watched videos b4 but the psychology of the bj is amazing and makes sense. Ill watch again and make notes!
Im a woman. I would say for women who don’t like giving them or don’t like swallowing it could be more about letting go. Read alexs blog on dominance and submissive play, its very primal and if you let yourself go you’d be surprised how much you might like it.
There are a lot of others, but I REALLY enjoy grabbing and holding the woman’s hair and back of her head, especially upon climax.
There are women who want their partner to suck or do lot of foreplay with them but they are not willing to do the same with their partner. Is it to do with a discussion?
Helpful!
The psychology aspect is interesting. I’ve noticed that the more selfish a lover is, the less interested I am in catering to a blow job. I don’t necessarily enjoy the sex less (I’m good at enjoying it) but certainly am to very eager to go to town or submit in any way with a selfish man. Someone who isnt? I cannot do enough for!!!