***QUESTION FROM A FEMALE READER***

Hi Alex,

I know this must be completely backwards...but
none the less I don't know what else to do...

My name is [...], and my man just isn't cutting it.
I have been with him for 8 months and while he
has been the best in the bed department (not that
I have that much experience there) he still can't
get me off. I was raped at a very young age and its
left me emotionally scarred and very self conscious...
I love my boyfriend very much...but he is older
than me (I'm 19, he is 23) and I feel that should
mean he has more experience...but I guess I'm wrong.
I'm sooo tired of faking! I want the real thing, I
want to scream...but I just can't seem to help him
find the right places. When he asks if he got me
off, he always gets an "Of course!" when really it
should be a "try harder next time". I know he is
very insecure and self conscious...I want to help
him, but I don't know how.

I found your book on line and was immediately
thrilled, the more I read about it the more excited
I became. I thought I had found the solution...but
the dilemma is how do I give it to him without
hurting his feelings? Or can I hint to it some how
that he should look it up? Or should I
*accidentally* leave it open on my computer? [...]

I know he can get me off, but he just needs
help... The worst part is the more he tries and
fails the more certain I become that I simply
am incapable of having an orgasm...I can't even
get myself off with a toy!!! I just want help or
else I am certain this otherwise perfect
relationship is doomed. I know one of his past
girl friends always faked it too, and then she
cheated on him and broke his heart. I hate that
I'm lying to him and it needs to end now before it
goes too far.

Is there some way you could send him an
"anonymous" email about your book Please?!?! I
know he would open it cuz I know he has suspicions
and he thinks there is always room to improve...
just in case you can do that his email is [...] Or
can you help me figure out some way first to
purchase it and then to present it to him without
insulting his already damaged ego? I'm sure this
isn't the first time you've heard of something
like this...and I'm sure you understand where I'm
coming from...Because while I love him and he is
wonderful, there is still temptation there and
until he gets me off I'm sure it will stay there,
and grow. Please help me.

All I ask is that I get a response. And I hope I
get an answer. Or better yet I get a surprise when
my bf finally makes me orgasm....

Thank you for your time, and thank you in advance
for any help or advice you have to offer.

            ~S


>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Well, congratulations-- you got basically
EVERYTHING in your email wrong.

   I'm not trying to put you down here-- most of
the things you are talking about are VERY common
misconceptions that almost all women have...

   But fear not, I will give you very real and
powerful advice for solving this problem and
making it so that you and your boyfriend can
experience AMAZING sex, intimacy, and orgasms
together before the end of this reply...

   Plus, really, I'm VERY GRATEFUL that you have
written to me so that guys can see exactly the way
women think when they are not being sexually
satisfied.

   Like you, most unsatisfied women fake it.  And
like you, most women do it for all GOOD reasons.
And also, like you, many of them consider cheating
or leaving the man they are with in order to find
more sexual satisfaction.

   So please don't be insulted if I go through
your email now and point out some of the stuff
that you have the wrong ideas about-- it will
help you in the end, and it will be great
information for anyone else reading along.

   First of all, you can't say "my boyfriend
isn't cutting it" and "I was raped at a very
young age" in the same paragraph.

   Helping you heal from that sort of thing is a
HUGE job, and it's not something that any guy you
meet is likely to handle for you in just a few
months, and suddenly your sex life is perfect.

   In fact, if/when your boyfriend does start
giving you orgasms you may find that having intense
pleasure linked to something painful from your past
only messes with your emotions MORE than when you
couldn't come at all. 

   It will be  challenging, and you will both need
courage and love to get through it. 

   Another thing that you are wrong about is the
idea that a 23 year old guy is supposed to be
more "experienced" than you.  23 is still very
young, and most men only have 1-6 sex partners in
their entire life.  There is nothing wrong with
that at all... but it's not fair to just assume
that he knows all there is to know at such a
young age.

   I sure didn't know ANY of this stuff when I was
only 23. 

   So, you're right that when he asks you if he
got you got you off-- you shouldn't be saying "Of
course" if he hasn't... 

   But you'd be much more wrong by saying, "try harder 
next time."

   That would be mean... and pointless. 

   And it implies that it's somehow his "fault".

   The issues you guys are having has NOTHING to do
with how hard he's "trying."  He just needs better
information... and at 23, he's not to blame for
not knowing everything yet.

   The fact that you can't get yourself off with
a "toy" is further evidence that "trying harder"
isn't going to do ANYTHING. 

   The good news here is that you CAN almost
certainly eventually learn to have an orgasm.
And yes, the solution is probably in my eBook...

   But that brings us to the very serious issue
about you lying to him-- the same lie a previous
girlfriend told him before, breaking his heart...

   And I know SO MANY GUYS who have had their
hearts broken for the same reason.

   And you know what?

   Those women that did the leaving, hoping to
find someone better... they wound up in the same
situation all over again.  Because very few men
will ever learn how to please a woman.

   Why?  Because they don't care?

   NO... not at all... because our culture is
giving men the wrong messages everywhere we look.

   We see women on the Internet screaming away
while some anonymous guy pounds away on her and
we think:  That's how it's done.

   Bullshit.

   Nothing has done more to hurt women's pleasure
than the incredible saturation of porn into our
culture.

   It may be exciting for men to watch... it may
even be exciting for women to watch... but it sure
ain't the way to learn anything about how to touch
a woman.

   And if you are willing to leave him because
the "temptation" becomes too great to find another
guy who maybe can get you off...
rather than take the risk of an HONEST CONVERSATION...

   Then maybe you guys are better off apart.

   Let me save you some time...

   The next guy isn't going to be any better...
or probably won't be.

   The better risk is the honest conversation.

   Is it possible that you'll lose him in a big
fight about it?

   Yep.  But it's a sure thing you'll lose him
if you just walk away and try to find someone
better... without even TRYING to deal with your
internal issues together.

   You might be thinking now-- what about my
request for you to send him some anonymous
message about my book?

   First of all, that would be trying to solve
a lie with another lie... and I'll talk more about
that in a minute.

   The second problem-- sending an anonymous
message for someone to buy something...

   Unfortunately, that's called "spam" and I just
don't do that sort of thing.  Nobody gets my
Newsletters without specifically signing up for
them themselves.

   This is information that is very personal, and
it would be very wrong to have it arriving into
someone's inbox who did not request it.

   That's also why I NEVER sell, rent, or in any
way EVER let my mailing list get used by anyone
else.  I feel like the folks that put their trust
in me have every right to expect that I'll be
ethical in the treatment of their personal
information.

   I have a lot of expensive systems in place
that do nothing but protect that information
from ever getting stolen or misused.

   So let's take a look at your choices-- and
we'll  see if we can't find a way for you to sort
this out.  I'll list them in order (in my opinion)
of worst to best:

1)  Leave the guy you love because he can't get
you off... even though you can't even get
yourself off with a toy, so the odds of ANY guy
doing better are approximately zero.

2)  Keep faking it and stay together out of love,
and simply live a life without orgasms.  Hey, 1
IN 7 WOMEN DO EXACTLY THAT. 

   Many of them, I assume, are reasonably happy.

3)  Get a yahoo or msn account and send your
own anonymous letter.  I personally think it's
deceitful, weird, and a bit creepy to do something
like that to someone you love... but it's what
you're asking ME to do for you.

   But consider this-- if you guys are really
in love and the relationship keeps getting better,
he starts satisfying you in bed, and you guys end
up staying together forever...

   This little poison seed will always be in the
back of your mind... this lie that you told him
at the beginning. 

   Maybe you'll forget all about it, and it will
have been worth a small lie.  I just don't know.

4)  Ask one of his friends or one of your friends
to talk to him about my book.  It's dishonest, but
a friend could tell him, "hey man, I found this
book online and it completely changed my sex life...
you should check it out."  Hopefully he won't be
offended by that, and he'll check it out from
curiosity... and then, at least, he'll get my
Newsletters. 

   I PACK these Newsletters with information that
could help you guys to get a grip on your sex
life, and I have men (and women) emailing me
every day telling me about how much success they
have had from just the info in these newsletters.

   And if he gets the Newsletters, it may
motivate him to buy the book. 

   Like I said, it's not completely honest, but
it's a little closer.

5)  BE HONEST WITH HIM.  Buy the book together.
Read it together.

   If you truly love each other and things are
great everywhere else, you have the chance to
really take your relationship to the next level
by being radically honest with him.

   I got that term, "Radical Honesty", from a
book by a guy named Brad Blanton.  I recommend the
book highly.  It's very powerful, and a fun read
too... And I think it could really help your
situation.

   The bottom line is, we all tell some lies
to the people  we love.  But when you take the
chance to tell the truth... when you take that
RISK... and then they still love you anyway...

   Well, you can't believe the relief.  It's so
powerful to be loved for who you REALLY are, and
not just who you are pretending to be.

   Is it easy?

   No.  Honesty is HARD.

   Are you afraid that he won't love you as much
if he knew that he wasn't getting you off?

   Sure you are.

   But what if he loved you anyway?  What if he
was man enough to say, "okay, this isn't YOUR
problem, and it isn't MY problem... it's OUR
problem, and we will get through it together."

   How would that feel for you to hear him say
that?

   If you are honest with your SELF, you know that
it would feel great.  Better than anything.

   And instead of lying there during sex trying
to balance the hope that you can "get there" with
the fake-act to protect his feelings... you can
actually look him in the eye and connect with him
in a tender and loving way without a lie hanging
in the air between you.

   You may not realize this yet, because you are
19, because you've never experienced an orgasm...
But this alone, without the book, might solve
the problem.

   Sometimes all it takes isn't a more powerful
vibrator... it's just forgiving yourself and
feeling accepted.

   And I know as I'm writing this that it may
sound ridiculous to someone who believes that's
not their problem... and it especially sounds
ridiculous to the MEN who are reading this...

   It sounds like mumbo-jumbo that telling the
truth out of bed might give you orgasms IN the
bed... where a vibrator or a well-hung marathon
man would be totally useless...

   But as you may have heard me say before-- Don't
argue too much with what WORKS.

   This WORKS.

   Is there more to it?

   Of course.  And, yes, everything you need is
in the book.

   But even if he buys the book and does
everything else right-- the lie between you might
be the very thing that prevents it from working.

   Because whether you want to believe this or
not, orgasms, for women, are directly related to
emotions and intimacy. 

   Men can rub up against just about anything and
get themselves off... but that is very uncommon
in women.

   So I think you should take a chance on this
guy that you say is so wonderful... that you say
you love.

   Don't BLAME him or tell him he's not TRYING
hard enough.

   That wouldn't be the truth either-- that would
just be you trying to protect your ego from the
REAL truth.

   Tell him that you are sorry, that you've
lying to him, that you are ashamed, that you
only lied because you were so afraid that you'd
lose him, that you were ashamed that you couldn't
do what so many other women seem to do
effortlessly...

   If you haven't yet, tell him about the rape.

   Then tell him that you love him and that you
want his help, that you want to work TOGETHER to
solve this problem.  That you know his heart has
been broken before by a lie... but that you want to
work it out with the man you love.

   Damn... I'm good, huh?

   I know it sounds scary... but if he agrees and
gives you a hug at the end of this conversation,
you will probably consider it the best experience
of your life so far.

   Trust me.

   After the conversation, you know what to do
next...

   Tell him you heard about this book that has
worked absolute magic for literally thousands of
couples. 

   Sit down at the computer together and go to
this link:

   CLICK HERE NOW