Best Position For Women To Come


>>>For all of the most powerful techniques for
helping women experience mind-blowing orgasms,
skip the basics and get the advanced stuff HERE


***QUESTION***

I have a quick question for you....is this book
mainly for a man. I am having problems myself. I
have never had an orgasm during sex and it is
frustrating me. Do you have any suggestions, or can
you point me in a direction where i can get help.
Is it possible the position of my clit is
making it harder????

Any help would be appreciated!!!!


          - L.


>>>MY REPLY:

   There are many reasons that women can't have
female orgasm during intercourse.  It's a very complicated
issue.

   The detail I wish I had here is whether you
are able to have orgasms during ORAL sex. 

   I'm going to assume that you can, otherwise
the sex "positions" issue wouldn't be an issue,
right?

   I should also point out that the NORMAL
position of a woman's clitoris makes it very
difficult to stimulate during intercourse
(intercourse positions).  And it is very common for women
who are more comfortable orgasming through
clitoral stimulation to have challenges with
coming during intercourse.

   In other words, you're not weird.

   So I'm going to assume, for lack of details,
that this is what you are experiencing.

   There is are sex positions that most couples
find effective for working around this issue.

   This one is called CAT, which stands for "Coital
Alignment Technique" and it works like this--

   Have your partner begin on top as in a regular
"missionary position", and then have him scoot
up higher on your body about 6 inches. 

   This will cause him to enter you from a strong
downward angle... but more to the point,
unlike most other love making positions, the
top of his penis will now contact your clitoris.

   From here you can wrap your legs around his
legs and work them downwards towards his ankles.

   In this position, he can control the "in/out"
motion, and you can use your hips to create a
rocking motion against your clitoris. 

   When you get these movements synchronized
just right, it should fix your issue and send
you into orbit.

   If you're confused at all about the CAT
position, there is diagram at wikipedia.org that
may be helpful.



***QUESTION***

I have read your messages lately, and as soon after
I did, my sex life improved dramatically. I don't
understand why exactly, because i still did the
same thing i did before....but what caused me to
write to you is this...

When me and my partner have sex, I will get one
orgasm and she'll get like 10. No lie! I want to
be able to get atleast 2-3. I'll reach orgasm in
like 5-10 min. and after that, I get another condom
on, and we go at it for hours....literally. The
last time lasted 2 hours about. She had 10, and I
only got one. I figured that maybe i can't reach
the second one is because i masterbate, but I
haven't done that in a long time. So Mr. Sex Guru,
can you help me out with this wierd problem?

          - M.


>>>MY REPLY:

   The reason things improved dramatically from
reading these newsletters and female orgasm
techniques, even though you didn't
change much, is simply that you brought more
"awareness" to what you were doing. 

   Women can feel that "awareness", they can feel
that you are "tuned in" to them, and this creates
powerful feelings of intimacy that allow her to
experience more powerful and more frequent
female orgasm...

   In fact, this is much more powerful than
learning a new way to hit her g spot or any other
physical technique...

   But let's get to your questions...

   You want to orgasm more than once in a night but
your body doesn't want to cooperate.

   The fact is, some of this is just genetic.

   Some men take a very long time to get hard
again after orgasm (not your problem, obviously),
and some men can go again very quickly.

   Some men can ejaculate several times during
sexual intercourse, and some men find it very difficult.

   And this is just nature.

   So what are your options?

   First of all, here's a quick tip that will
probably work...

   Once you've been going at it for a long time,
your body crosses a threshold where it becomes
more and more difficult to ejaculate.  You would
probably find this true if you forced yourself
to last longer on the first go-round of sexual intercourse as well.

   So going for an hour or two is not only not
going to help, it's probably making it even
harder.

   Here's the solution--

   When you are going on the second go-round,
forget trying to ejaculate... just tune in to her
body and enjoy her orgasms, the feel of her body,
the sweetness of the intimacy and pleasure.
Enjoy different Sex Positions, sensual seduction...

   When you feel like she's completely satisfied,
or when you are satisfied with that part of the
love making... take a break.

   Allow yourself to cool down and recharge for
about 10 minutes.  Get a drink, cuddle, kiss,
talk... whatever.

   Then, when you start up again, don't try to
last at all.  Just get yourself as hot as you can
get... have her do some oral sex on you, or go down on her,
or whatever turns you on the most and gets you most aroused. 

   Then go straight for the orgasm-- either
vaginally with intercourse, or orally, or whatever you like... the
second love making was about her orgasms, this one
is about yours. 

   There may be an urge to just go a little
longer, to go for one more female orgasm, to impress
her.

   Don't.

   Like I said, this one is about you and your
desire to orgasm again.

   This should work pretty easily for you, and
she'll probably really enjoy turning things around
and making it all about YOU... tuning in to your favorite sex positions, giving her the
chance to completely tune in to your orgasm.

   ...Now, the second option is to cultivate non-
ejaculatory orgasms. 

    Then you can have more than just two orgasms...

    But you will have to begin by learning to
have sex without ejaculating at all for the first
several sessions.

   By learning to get yourself right up the edge
and backing down and relaxing yourself, and then
not ejaculating AT ALL for about a week, you will
begin to disconnect, in your brain, the orgasm
experience from the ejaculation instinct.

   This takes a while, but you are probably at
a point where you can do this.

   You should allow yourself to ejaculate about
once a week while you are training yourself for
this experience.

   I'll write more about non-ejaculatory orgasms
soon!


***QUESTION***

Alex,

My fiance and I were just reading the email that
you sent and began to talk about our own personal
sex life. He says that sometimes he wants to have
sex and sometimes he doesn't. We have sex about
three times a month! We just had a daughter three
years ago but our sex life kinda went sour before
that. When I first found out he cheated on me I
began to not want to have sex with him but after
the baby, I want it all the time. What do we do
now? I think we are both still young (35) he says
that he is not with the marathon type sex anymore
and I tell him that it is not all about the amount
of time we have sex but about the quality of our
sex. I like to be held afterwards or have some
sort of conversation. He rolls over and goes to
sleep or looks at TV. What am I not doing right?

Help deep in the heart of TEXAS

          - Y.


>>>MY REPLY:

   From everything I've read, 3 times a month is
disturbingly NORMAL for married couples.

   But nobody, in my opinion, should aspire for
"normal"...

   You want your life to be exciting, extraordinary,
passionate, full of juice and passion!  ...not
"normal"...

   And he should want that too. 

   So it seems to me that maybe he is discouraged
and just doesn't believe that you guys can have
a passionate, loving, spiritual connection in the
bedroom now that you are "responsible parents".

   If that's the case, you can show him that he
is wrong... that there is hope.
   But the big catch here is that HE has got to
WANT to make these changes.

   If he doesn't, or he's not ready to try to make
your relationship stronger, then I think that
couple's counseling would be the logical first
step.

   Bottom line is that you're not doing anything
wrong... but that it takes two.  You have to both
want to make your sex life more powerful.

   It is extremely common for men to have huge
difficulties seeing the mother of their child in
a sexual way. 

   It's a cultural problem, a problem with the way
we are raised, a problem with the way we are
socialized...

   We see strippers and porn-stars as objects of
sex and mommies as objects of nurturing, and it's
a big challenge for many men to accept that women
are not just "a" or "b", but that they are complex
creatures who can be both.

   Emotionally he's got to make the leap that you
can be logical friends and partners in parenting
in the afternoon, and still be his hot and sexy
love-toy in the evening.

   This can be very, very uncomfortable for men.

   The bridge is "intimacy" and "connection" and
these are things that men's brains are not well
wired for.  They are much more challenging for
men than for women.

   And if you add to that fact that men usually
don't enjoy what they are not good at, it becomes
something that he might be avoiding.

   The key to all of this is getting him to
believe that he CAN become good at it... not only
that, but when he does become good at it, he will
experience sex on a level that is so much more
powerful than he ever has before.

   I've laid out a difficult path for you.  He may
be very resistant, and your feelings might get
hurt along the way.

   So please believe me when I say, honestly,
that it's not your fault.  This is a really
challenging path for EVERY couple... which is why
half of the couples are divorced, and other half
are unhappy...

   Only a tiny fraction of couples live in that
magical, passionate place of lasting attraction
and bliss.

   Right now he has all sorts of emotional blocks
to having YOU as the center of his sexual desires
because mother-of-my-child is not compatible with
the "dirty" thoughts in his head.

   The first step is probably to convince him
that you are not afraid of the "dirty" thoughts
in his head, that you are actually turned on by
the "dirty" thoughts in his head...

   And that this fact does not make you "bad"
because, as it turns out, those thoughts aren't
"dirty" at all... they are natural. 

   Ask him what turns him on.  Ask him about what
he fantasizes about when he masturbates. 

   And then prepare yourself mentally for accepting
ALL of it.

   You're going to have to convince him that it's
okay to talk about these things AND then you're
going to have to have the strength to actually
BE okay with what you learn.

   Even better, can you become turned on by these
things?  Can you then convince him to let you
participate in these things?

   If the things he says turn him on feel weird
or hurtful to you, don't forget to check in with
the reality of you own fantasies that you are
probably embarrassed to share with him!

   None of us are half so innocent as we pretend.

   See if you can love each other anyway!

   Eventually, if this sharing of fantasy turns
him on, if you can both enjoy playing the "teen
age babysitter being seduced by the dad" or the
"stripper breaking the rules and having sex in
the back room"... or whatever it turns out to
be...

    Eventually... he will become comfortable to
ask you about what YOU fantasize about.

   In the end, you will understand each other
better, you will become more playful, you will
build sexual trust...

   And then it will be much easier to take the
next steps towards the ultimate goal of spiritual
love making.

   Bottom line, it IS possible for you to
experience incredibly hot sex inside of your
marriage that can last decades-- as long as you
are physically able to do it.

   If this is something that he wants to at least
experiment with, here is the place to get started:

   Revolutionary Sex

   Good luck, and keep reading.  And keep sending
the questions and comments my way.

   Your Friend,

   Alex