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How To Seduce Your Wife Or Girlfriend
***QUESTION FROM A READER***
"Great emails with sound advice. I have been
married to a great girl and all is OK except our
sex life. We enjoy most everything together but we
are out of synch with our desires. I could make
love everyday, but that is too much for her.
Many years ago she said I didn't know how to seduce
a woman. Maybe I should have left her then or maybe
it is true. We are in love but that remark always
sticks in my head. She backed off and said that isn't
exactly what she meant, but enough was said.
We almost split because of her lack of interest in
sex but decided to stay together. We now program
Saturdays as the day. Maybe that was the biggest
mistake of my life. [...]
She has orgasms or at least I think so but I don't
think I have her sexual confidence and Sexual Trust.
How do you seduce a woman? Maybe just being married
is not enough. I am completely frustrated as the
Saturday last has turned into Saturday today. In
other words no dice for a week. I am also worried I
lost my desire for her and her for me. If your book
can answer some of these questions, you can be I sure
I will buy it.
Any help will be greatly appreciated."
O.
>>>MY REPLY:
Why would a guy have to SEDUCE his own wife?
Isn't the point of having a wife or a girlfriend
so that you don't have to go through the hassle of
getting sex?
Ha... If only...
Hey man, the first thing I want you to know is
that the reason that I chose to answer your email
is because the problem you describe is so COMMON.
I got a LOT of emails on the subject and so by
answering you, I'm answering a lot of guys who
are interested in the same subject.
To answer your last question first, YES, my
book answers ALL of those questions, so download
it and read it.
But, as you know, I'm committed to bringing as
much good information as I can to the guys who
read this Newsletter, so I'm going to do my best
to answer as much of your email as I can right
here.
So let's jump right in by trying to answer my
first question... why would you have to seduce
your own wife?
Because, in a nut-shell, women's sexuality
works VERY differently from men's.
For us guys, if a reasonably attractive woman
gets naked in front of us, we're pretty much good
to go. Most of our sexual arousal comes from just
visual and physical stimulation-- it's very
centered in our physical body.
But for women it's mostly in their head and in
their heart.
Even if you look like Brad Pitt, just getting
naked in front of her isn't going to do it (at
least not after the first few weeks).
But I have 2 great pieces of news for you that
I hope will brighten your day (and your
relationship)...
The first is that you can LEARN how to become
a master seducer.
The second is that, once you do, your wife is
going to want to make love A LOT MORE THAN ONCE A
WEEK.
So let's take a quick look at 3 facts in your
email that are all very directly related (and if
you are reading along, let me challenge you to
see if you picked these things up-- because
understanding how they are related is VERY
important).
1. Years ago she told you that you didn't know
how to seduce a woman.
2. You nearly broke up with her at that time.
3. You feel you do not have her Sexual Trust.
Here's how I put these things together...
First of all, in all likelihood, she is
absolutely right and you don't know how to seduce
a woman. There's no shame in that, VERY FEW men
do. And, in fact, many of the guys that do are
just "players" that your wife would not have
wanted to marry anyway.
The problem for women is that it's so hard to
find a guy that is loyal, kind, respectful, and
"marriage material" who also knows how to seduce
her...
When you become one of those guys, you become
such a rare commodity that a woman will do almost
anything to hang onto you.
The other thing that I really want you to
consider for a moment is that, even if she said
those words in anger, how much GUTS it took her
to say them.
Okay, let's move on... the second thing is that
you nearly broke it off at that point, and, boy, I
am sure glad that you didn't...
Because this is totally fixable, and because
(given what you said about everything else being
great in your relationship) it is totally worth
fixing.
A great relationship is very hard to come by
and you guys have shown huge commitment to each
other by sticking this out. That says a lot.
Now, the first fact and the second fact
come together to create the third... that you
don't have her Sexual Trust.
Can you guess why?
When she had the guts to tell you that she
wanted something more from your sexual relationship,
she opened up a very hard conversation.
No woman wants to say something like that and
for SURE, no man wants to HEAR something like that.
Communication with the person you love can be
so much harder than communicating with people we
don't give a rat's ass about.
And so, obviously, you were hurt. This stung
your pride and made you feel less masculine. And
sure, the first instinct you had was to tell her
right where she could put her opinions of your
seduction abilities.
And that's when she realized that you were
never going to give her what she needed. That's
when you lost her sexual trust.
You told her that your ego was more important
to you than her Sexual Trust. And that's all it
took.
And so she started building a shell around
herself. And that shell has resulted in the
only-on-Saturdays schedule.
So why is seducing her so important? I mean,
you said that she is having orgasm when you make
love-- and yet she STILL doesn't want to do it
more than once a week.
Because, again, for a woman, the most important
part of making love is what happens in her head
and in her heart, so even though you are doing the
right things for her body, she is left unsatisfied.
Being seduced is the fun part for women. It
sets the stage for everything else that follows.
It puts her in the right emotional state to
receive sexual pleasure.
And, here's something else that you might not
have thought of...
It proves to her that you still GIVE A SHIT.
That's right, making the effort to seduce her
makes her feel special, it makes her feel loved,
it makes her feel valued. She doesn't want just
a few strokes on the tits and then a good shagging.
Seducing her, ESPECIALLY after years of
marriage, is the most flattering thing you can do
for her. It's WAY better (and much less expensive)
than buying her flowers or jewelry.
(Though, let's face it, you can't go wrong
with flowers).
So why do men stop seducing their wives (or
their long-term girlfriends)? More to the point...
Why do so many men never bother to learn to seduce
them at all?
Well, mainly because they are afraid it will
be embarrassing. You kind of have to put yourself
out there a bit to go through the motions of
seducing a woman.
It's so much easier to just nudge her and say,
"you in the mood? No? Okay," and just roll over
and turn off the light.
Or just put your hand on her breasts and see
what happens.
You can't really blame guys for doing these
things, because, after all, that's what would
work on us.
So...
What works for women?
>>> YOUR WORDS <<<
The most important part of seducing your girl
is to remember that you have to create some
romance, some drama, even some story if you
really want to get her going.
It's important that you understand that it's
not just WHAT you say, but HOW you say it. Your
voice tonality is an extremely important part of a
great seduction.
Keep your voice low but powerful. Any sense
of being tentative is going to be obvious in your
voice first. But by speaking with quiet authority
you will send shivers up her spine.
Speaking softly in her ear is a very good idea
as well.
For an idea of exactly WHAT you should say, I
very strongly recommend you pick up a women's
romance novel from your local bookstore. Or at
least browse through one without buying it.
Large bookstores have an entire section
devoted to these books, and inside you will find
not just some very weird and cheesy dialogue...
but the substance of women's fantasies.
These books do for women what pornography does
for men.
Basically, seductive talking involves building
a fantasy using a lot of description. You're
going to have to learn to use a lot of adjectives.
Here are some examples:
-->Tell her what you are going to do to her (or
what you would like to do to her).
"...I'm want to run my fingers over inch of
of your bare, soft skin... first very gently so
that you can barely feel it... so that your skin
blushes and comes alive and aches for more..."
-->Tell her the story of the last time you had
really great sex-- remind her of every detail.
"...Remember the way I reached below you and
I was holding your hips and going deep inside of
you over and over again, and I felt it so intensely
because you were breathing right by my ear, and the
smell of your freshly washed hair was all around
me..."
-->Describe her body and how it makes you feel.
"...When your hair catches the light like that
it shines like some kind of metal-- it reminds me
of being 13 years old and being so awed by the
shiny hair of the cheerleaders and being so blown
away by how beautiful and sexy a girl's hair could
be, and just wanting so badly to touch it... to
run my fingers through it..."
-->Build a scene or fantasy
"...I'd like to make love to you outside in
a garden during a summer rain, when the air is
heavy and warm and the drops that come down are
big and heavy and they splash on our bodies as I
push inside of you, and the air is heavy with the
smell of the flowers and that earthy rain smell,
and the sound of your screams are echoed in the
distant thunder..."
For a lot more on both WHAT to say to women,
and how to incorporate fantasy into your love-
making, you can go here:
LINK
... but the important points are that you
take your time and fill in the little details.
Does the language have to be so flowery?
No.
Do you need to use a lot of description like
that?
Yes.
Don't be afraid to draw it out, to build the
scene for her. Whisper in her ear exactly how
you'd like to touch her breasts and how it will
feel for her, how it will turn you on, how it will
make your cock hard... and then reach out and touch
her exactly as you described it...
>>> YOUR TOUCH <<<
Seducing her with your touch is not foreplay
and it's not sex... it's seduction, so don't
treat it like part of the love-making.
For example...
Caressing her breasts is not seduction, it's
a part of love making.
Seduction is gently touching her fingertips,
it's running your fingers through her hair, it's
giving her a gentle massage from behind and then
softly kissing the back of her neck...
It's caressing her face with the back of your
hand... and then TELLING her how you would like
to kiss her...
That's right. You want to use your words and
your touch at the same time.
Remember that the tone of your words is more
important than what you say... so if you are
using TOUCH to seduce her, sometimes all you need
to say (in a soft and seductive tone) is:
"...mmmmm..."
That's pretty easy, right?
Try gently running your fingernails along the
inside of her arms, or tracing her ear-lobes with
your finger-tips, or giving her a whole-body hug
from behind and letting her feel your breath
softly warming her neck or the side of her face.
Or how about a foot rub and then working your
way up, gently caressing the backs of her legs
and behind her knees, while gazing meaningfully
into her eyes...
>>>YOUR GAZE<<<
Experiments have been done that show that the
human face is capable of literally thousands of
expressions and that a huge amount of human
communication happens through facial expression
alone.
Your words can have completely different
meanings based on the look on your face.
Actors can make us laugh or cry based on their
facial expressions.
And that is just the big, obvious stuff.
It turns out that many more subtle
communications happen between humans based on
facial expression that we are not even aware of--
things that affect us on an instinctive level.
A huge amount of what makes you successful
in seducing a woman has to do with the things
you communicate in the way that you look at her.
A pleading look, a joking look, an insecure
look, a hopeful look... none of these are going to
excite your woman.
A confident look, a "knowing" look, a
mischievous look, a sexually dominant look, or an
openly LOVING LOOK...
These are all things that women respond very
strongly to.
So how EXACTLY do you gaze at her with one
of these looks?
Well, this is the good news and the bad news.
The good news is that all you have to do is
FEEL one of these emotions and your face will do
the right thing AUTOMATICALLY.
The bad news is that this makes it very, very
hard to fake.
The key is simply to look deeply into her
eyes while FEELING confident, mischievous, and
loving towards her.
If you can blend those three emotions and
look into her eyes, you will need nothing else
to seduce her...
But if you do that and also run your fingers
along her neck while describing how you would
like to kiss her naked body outdoors on a sunny
day...
Well my friend, there is no wife on Earth
that can resist that kind of seductive power.
Obviously a lot of this depends on your
ability to authentically feel sexually confident,
so working on that is a great first step.
Confidence comes from COMPETENCE, so if you
haven't yet downloaded your copy of my online
eBook, it might be a very good idea to do that
first by going here:
LINK
I've just started including a bonus book
specifically for guys in long-term loving
relationships that talks about re-finding,
keeping, and growing the attraction in a marriage
or relationship that I think would really be
important to you.
Finally, the last important thing that any
guy needs to consider when he is in a relationship
and wants to make radical changes in himself--
even changes for the BETTER, is that your wife
is very likely to resist these changes...
Even though you would be giving her exactly
what she wants...
Even though years ago she wanted you to be able
to properly seduce her, now, years later, she's
probably not so sure.
People don't like change. They get used to the
way things are working...
And more than that, in this specific case,
you suddenly GROWING and becoming more sexually
POWERFUL will be frightening to her...
Frightening because she currently enjoys a
certain amount of power in being the one who has
sexual power-- you want her more often than she
wants you. There's power in that for her.
If you suddenly become sexually powerful that
will threaten her. She will fear that if you can
keep growing, you might even outgrow HER. She'll
fear losing you. She'll fear losing control.
You need to mindful of this and be very
careful about reassuring her of your love, or all
that I have shared with you in this Newsletter
will backfire.
Instead of getting turned on, she'll just get
angry.
But here is a great opportunity to win her
sexual trust back...
When she gets angry and afraid as you grow and
change, being patient and loving despite her
attacks will impress her in ways that you can't
even imagine right now.
It will show a level of masculine control
and power that will make her love you like never
before.
Do not get frustrated with her. Understand
where these emotions are coming from.
Do not put the responsibility on HER by
saying, "but I'm making these changes for YOU."
Because you're not. This is YOUR growth. And
she will, in the end, experience much more
pleasure because of this growth, and your
relationship will be much stronger-- but this is
something you must do for your SELF first.
This is the advice I would give any man.
It is time for you to tell her that the once
a week on Saturdays thing is not going to fly any
more.
Tell her that you understand that that may
mean no sex at all for a while as you relearn
your attraction for each other.
Get the pressure off of this thing. The
Saturday thing puts stupid pressure on something
that should be natural, fun, and spontaneous.
When she is in the shower some time, light some
candles, set the mood, maybe some flowers, and
maybe get some good-quality massage oil...
Then when she comes out, tell her that there
is going to be no sex tonight-- just getting back
in touch with each other.
That will eliminate any pressure or fears that
she has...
And with her pressures and fears quieted, you
will have a chance to practice using your words,
your touch, and your gaze.
Don't make love to her-- just make her feel
sexy and loved. Restore Sexual Trust. Get
her to link these sexual feelings and sensual
emotions to being in your masculine presence.
She'll test you a bit. She'll be resistant...
But if you stay the course and don't let her
upset you, if you just stay calm, resolved, and
loving in your handling of her testing, it will
not be long before she is tearing at your
clothing, begging you to make love to her.
When you're ready to take the next step from
seduction to fully mastering her body, you know
where to go:
CLICK HERE NOW
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