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Hi there... once again, I am dipping into my
mail bag to answer your questions and comments...
There are some GREAT tips below. I hope you
enjoy them.
***QUESTION***
Thanks for your email tips. I enjoy reading
them.
I am especially interested in the oral tips. My
wife is not a big fan of oral. She prefers
heavier pressure than a tongue can provide and
she does not like the pinpoint feel of
individual fingers. Whole hand and cupped finger
pressure is what she prefers.
Any suggestions for oral improvements or do I just
have to resign myself to her preferences? Are
there techniques for somehow improving her
sensitivity?
S.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'm really glad you wrote in with this
question, because it illustrates a really
important point about women that I talk about
all the time--
Every woman is different.
Of course we read everywhere that MOST women
prefer oral sex to intercourse or anything else,
but the reality is no two women are exactly alike,
and the true gift is learning how to push the
buttons of the woman that you are with.
Which you have done.
But now let's take a look at how we can make
it even better!
First of all, your wife's preference is not
uncommon and it probably comes from her own
experience of making herself come for the first
time when she was first becoming sexually aware
and began masturbating.
The "whole hand" thing is the way most women
begin touching themselves, because they usually
don't know much themselves about their own
anatomy. They just find what feels good.
The easiest way to do that without probing
around too much is with a broad surface to
touch herself.
After a while, she just blueprinted this idea
on herself that THIS is the way she has an orgasm.
The first thing I'm going to ask the two of
you to do, is really work on changing your
attitude about love-making.
Stop making it all about the orgasm. Really
tune in to just enjoying touching each other and
all the crazy good sexual feelings you can have
other than just coming.
More specifically, stop making it all about
HER orgasm.
There is this idea that the man's sexual
pleasure is no big deal. He's going to come
every time anyway, obviously he's liking it, so
it's all about whether or not SHE is going to
enjoy it.
But the fact is, you like going down on your
wife-- and even though that is not how you are
going to have your orgasm-- it is part of your
sexual pleasure. And so it should be part of
what you guys do together to just enjoy love-
making.
Even if it doesn't drive her towards her
orgasm, I'm pretty sure she can enjoy the
sensations she will get when you are down there.
Once you've both come to this realization of
just spending time enjoying each other and it
doesn't matter if it's what makes her come, you
might find the rest comes naturally and she will
discover sensitivity she didn't know she had...
And maybe even surprise herself and start
coming from a very gentle touch with your
tongue.
However, here are some more specific tips on
increasing her sensitivity--
Place your thumb at the very top of the fold
of her vagina, on the hood of the clitoris, and
pull the skin firmly up and back.
This will expose the head of the clitoris and
make it MUCH more sensitive.
As she becomes more sexually excited, the
hood will try to move down over the clitoris--
it almost seems like the clit is trying to
hide as she gets closer to orgasm (weird female
biology), so you may have to use more pressure
with your thumb to pull it back and keep the
clit exposed.
As I said, this will make her much more
sensitive-- and for other guys reading this,
note that I began this response by saying that
every woman is DIFFERENT. Some women will find
this way TOO sensitive and even unpleasant, and
she may yowl and leap right out of the bed.
To increase the sensation even more, try
sucking the head of the clit up into your mouth.
The pressure of the suction is a very powerful
sensation, and you can experiment with combining
this sucking action with stimulating her with
your lips and tongue.
You could also, at this point, insert a finger
and curl it upwards onto g-spot. For most women
this combination is ridiculously powerful.
Play with this stuff, pay attention to what's
working, and most of all have some fun and
enjoy each other.
These few little tips should work to drive
her completely crazy and seriously re-wire her
own ideas of what can make her come.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hi Alex,
I am writing from Nigeria.
I have blown her mind for the first time!
I learned one secret from one of your newsletters--
'to keep the rhythm'.
In the past, when I made love to my girlfriend, I
noticed that sometimes she would start moving her
ass faster. When that happened I would sometimes
slow down to let her "participate", or sometimes
I would move faster than her to "impress" her.
Then suddenly I would be tired or she would just
stop.
But after reading your newsletter I decided to
monitor when her breathing and speed changed, and
when that happened I maintained my speed and
rhythm. Suddenly I heard her screaming loudly.
This has happened many times since.
Once again I want to thank you.
Also, can drinking bear make me stay 'HARD' longer?
And, now that I can make her reach orgasm, how
can I give her multiple?
>>>MY COMMENTS
Hey man, congratulations.
Sorry I edited your letter a bit to make it
more clear for my audience-- I'm certain that
your English is WAY better than my Nigerian!
That rhythm thing is a GREAT tip, and I'm glad
that you tried it out and that it worked for you.
An amazing number of women have told me how
frustrated they get when guys speed up just as
they are about come and it completely ruins it
for them.
It's a really hard lesson for guys because
we're competitive and we want to make things
happen... and we're used to sports where we "race"
for the finish line... so when she starts looking
like she's just about there, it's natural for us
to start going like wild...
But that's just not the way it works for
giving women the big "O". When you find the
rhythm that's working-- stick with it!
And you too will hear the sudden scream.
As for your questions...
I'm going to assume you meant "beer" in terms
of staying hard longer and I'll answer you based
on that--
For a lot of guys a couple of drinks quiets
the "thinking" part of the mind and allows the
"animal" part of the brain (the part that controls
hunger, fear, and SEX DRIVE) to take over more.
In that case, the answer is "yes".
A doctor might tell you, "but it's just
psychological, it's all in your head", but what
difference does that make if it's working?
On the other hand, drinking too much can and
will lead to "whisky dick". Meaning, you might
not be able to get hard at all.
And, finally, frequent and excessive drinking
does not do your circulatory system any good...
and that means that, long term, it probably isn't
good for staying hard.
Now, on the other hand, I don't know much
about the local food and drink in Nigeria...
if you really did mean drinking "bear"... hm...
I don't have any information on that one.
And as for multiple orgasms... you've got to
leave me some stuff to write about in future
Newsletters.
***QUESTION***
hi, I'm a lesbian, but I can't make my girlfriend
have an orgasm or squirt. how do I make her
squirt? how do I make her have an orgasm?
>>>MY COMMENTS
First of all, you've got to get the pressure
off of yourself and more importantly get the
pressure off of her.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume
that you are very young. Likely under 18, which
means you shouldn't even be reading this-- didn't
you read the disclaimer?
The reason I'm assuming that you are young is
that lesbians, in my experience, have a much more
casual attitude about these things and really
understand that making love is about a whole lot
more than orgasms and squirting.
If you DO make the whole thing all about having
an orgasm... well, that's the kind of pressure
that can prevent your girlfriend from getting
there. She feels like you are tying your
affection for her to her ability to perform.
And chances are, you are putting this pressure
on her and on yourself because secretly you
are afraid of losing her to a "man". You are
afraid that maybe a man can give her what you
can't.
STOP THAT.
Trust me, if you can't do it, a man can't
either. 99% of the time lesbians are much more
tuned in and better in bed than men. (This is
according to every bi-sexual woman I've ever
talked to).
I'd love to give you some specific advice on
what you are doing right or wrong, but you
haven't included any details at all. I'd have
to just repeat EVERYTHING from my book.
But I'm absolutely certain that the first
thing you have to do is STOP WORRYING, and just
practice enjoying touching each other without
putting any pressure or goals on it.
Love making, especially for women (and in this
case there are 2 of you) is more about intimacy
than orgasms.
Write back with more details and I'll try to
give you more specific advice.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Alex,
I have started reading your book, and have
received your newsletters. As I mentioned
in a previous reply, I have been with my wife
for 30 years, married for 23. I have always
thought we had a good sexual relationship and she
has never indicated otherwise.
The reason I ordered your book is, at times,
things seem to get repetitive or maybe just not
as exciting as it was in our first 10 years or so
(LOL), but just after reading only a few pages
and realizing when you mentioned "Pay Attention"
to her in your book, a bell went off in my head.
Anyway, without getting into details, the next
time we had sex, I paid more attention and it was
great for both of us. That little section of the
book made me realize that what I had always done
in the past (paying attention to her and her
feelings), I was slacking off on. (Why, I don't
know).
Thanks for the reminder and I hope other readers
will get just this one piece of advice that helps
them from your book. I am happy I ordered your
book, and I will continue to read it and your
letters.
Thanks for now,
B.
>>>MY COMMENTS
30 years! Congratulations man, I am very
happy to hear that you guys still have a great
sex life after all that time... and more
importantly, that you still care enough to buy
a book to make it even better.
I really admire you and your relationship.
And thanks for bringing up how important
"paying attention" is.
Usually, when I first tell a guy that this is
a "magic bullet" for turning them into amazing
lovers they kind of shrug and they stop listening.
If they only knew.
That's why I spend most of the rest of the
book explaining exactly HOW to apply that
principle in different situations in the bedroom.
It is so much more than just figuring out
what she likes or being a good communicator.
When you really learn to "pay attention", the
way you certainly have after 30 years -- with your
whole body listening to her whole body -- you build
an amazing bridge of intimacy that does something
almost super-natural to a woman's sexual
responsiveness.
Anyway, if you got so much out of the first
few pages... just wait until you read the rest
of it!
Have fun, and best of luck on your next 30
years together.
***QUESTION FROM READER***
I have a BIG question for u. So do penis pills
really work or is it just a ripoff?
Please can u answer my question.
>>>MY COMMENTS
Honestly man, when I read stuff like this
I just want to reach through my screen and slap
some sense into you.
NO, "penis pills" do NOT really work. It is
just a rip off.
These companies are preying on your
insecurities, and offering a "quick fix" to the
fact that you don't think you can satisfy a woman
in bed.
The fact is, "dick size" is NOT the issue.
The sooner you come to terms with that fact
and stop making excuses for your lack of
confidence, the sooner you will have a girlfriend
that loves and admires you and you will no longer
be an easy target for these Internet scams.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Well man, I got your email and I thought it was
a bogus idea about the breathing triangle, but
I kid you not, that worked for me...
Keep up the great work Alex
>>>MY COMMENTS
Glad it worked for you. I've gotten nothing
but great feedback on that one.
It's a great way to "last longer" while really
staying focused and engaged with your girl.
And I'll pass along your thanks to my yoga
teacher...
***QUESTION***
My girlfriend said she gets all of the feeling
of an orgasm, but nothing comes out. Is she
still having an orgasm?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Don't worry. Yes, she is having an orgasm.
Only a small percentage of women "squirt" or
experience female ejaculation when they come.
That said, most women can, with practice and
the right techniques, "learn" to squirt, and most
say that it's an incredible experience and adds
something very intimate (sometimes even spiritual)
to their sexual experience.
***COMMENT FROM READER***
Hey there,
I read your whole book, and it not only helped
me learn a few things I could use to improve
myself sexually, it also made me realize how
important being confident to one's girl is. I
will be sure to use your advice next time I have
a sexual experience, and I am very thankful for
all the wonderful advice I got from your book
(not to mention the pleasure in reading it).
Thanks again for the wonderful book!
J
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You're welcome!
And you are so right about "confidence" being
incredibly important to women.
Confidence is the #1 thing that women are
talking about when they say a man is "sexy" and
nothing turns a woman on like a guy who is
completely comfortable with himself.
And "Sexual Confidence" is one of the real
keys to driving her wild in the bedroom. It
makes me feel great knowing that guys are getting
this message-- it is so much more important than
just learning "techniques" to make you a master
in the bedroom.
***QUESTION***
Hi Alex,
My name is A____. I'm not a guy but I receive
your emails. I like reading your stories. But
anyway I was wanting to ask you a question. So
here it goes. I seem to have a problem uh...
getting off when my boyfriend and I are making
love. Is there anything I can do or he can do
to help me with that? Don't get me wrong, I
enjoy making love to him. But again I have that
one problem and don't really know how to solve it.
So if you could maybe give me a few ideas, that
would be great.
Thanks,
A.
>>>MY REPLY:
A few ideas?
I could give you a thousand ideas.
It could be that you have learned to come with
a vibrator and you have what I call a "vibrator
addiction". There's a lot of ways to deal with
that one.
It could be that you can't orgasm at all and
we have to start from the beginning. I've got
you covered on that one too.
Or maybe you DO have orgasms, but you have an
emotional issue with getting to that place of
vulnerability with your boyfriend... this is one
of my specialties and I write a lot about this
subject.
Of course it could be just a "mechanical"
thing and a change of position will do the trick.
Maybe it's foreplay or the amount of sexual
confidence and passion that your boyfriend
expresses.
Could be that he isn't lasting long enough
or that his oral techniques need work?
Or it could be one of another hundred issues
and this newsletter isn't long enough to go
into ALL of them.
But I really do want to help you guys out and
I'm absolutely sure that I CAN help you out and
make it so that you are having the most amazing
sex that you could possibly imagine...
The question is... how can I do that based on
the information you've given me so far?
Hey, I know!
You could... buy my book.
Yes, that's right, ALL of that information is
in the book. All of it. And, without any doubt,
the answer you guys need is in there...
Not just so that you can have an orgasm when
you guys are making love-- but MUCH bigger than
that...
I promise that if you guys work with the book,
read through it more than once, and really start
APPLYING the stuff that is in there, you will
experience brain-melting MULTIPLE orgasms when
you are making love.
AND, doing these things together will
strengthen your emotional relationship and bring
you much closer together as a couple.
Now you mentioned that you've been reading
my Newsletters, so you also know that I'm
absolutely for real because you know that I
offer a no B.S. 7-day trial period.
So the question is-- why haven't you taken
that step yet?
And I think I know the answer, and so I am
going to try to help you out with the best advice
I can give a woman in your situation.
It seems to me that your problem is, how on
Earth can you give your boyfriend my book without
him feeling insecure, bruising his ego, and
damaging your relationship?
This is a tough one.
Some relationships have very open communication
and this kind of thing is no problem, but others...
well... it's not so easy.
And that doesn't mean anything bad about
your relationship. People are just different.
Here's my idea...but only YOU know whether or
not this will work for you-- because I don't know
your boyfriend, and I'm assuming that you know
him very well...
Download the book RIGHT NOW and then, the
next time you see your boyfriend, tell him that
one of your female friends e-mailed it to you.
Tell him that she and HER boyfriend got the
book TOGETHER, and that they were having a blast
trying stuff out from the book, and that their
sex life, which was ALREADY GREAT, got even
better...
So you think it would be FUN for you guys to
try it too.
Here are the important points here:
1) You didn't seek it out, it came to you from
a friend, so it's not your fault and you didn't
get it because you are dissatisfied with HIM.
2) Your friend's boyfriend was secure enough to
read this book, so there's no shame and nothing
"un-manly" about reading it and getting this
advice and information.
3) Their sex life was "already great"... just
like yours is. It's not about you complaining,
you're just thinking about taking it to the
"next level" together.
4) You think it would be "FUN" to try, which is
very different from thinking that he is in ANY
WAY inadequate. Not "we need this", just "fun".
I hope you understand these 4 very important
distinctions. Men can be very proud, and that
can be a very good thing... But it can also
sometimes prevent us from getting the advice we
need to improve ourselves.
And there is nothing "un-manly" about self-
improvement. In fact, that is the way we become
the best man that we can be.
I am a bit tentative about the advice I just
gave you because I truly don't believe it's a
good idea to ever lie in your relationship.
But there is a reason that they call this
kind of thing a "little white lie." These are
the little un-truths we tell to save someone
else's feelings, not to get ourselves out of
trouble or to deceive anyone.
And if it improves your life, his life, and
your relationship together...?
Well, only you can decide. Follow your own
conscience in terms of how you bring it up.
For now, your next step is the only thing
that is absolutely obvious to me.
Download the book right now and start reading
it and take advantage of the 7-day trial period
to make sure it's the right message for your
relationship (which I'm certain it is).
Click the link below to get started:
CLICK HERE NOW
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