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***QUESTION FROM A READER***
hey Alex how you doing. My name is [edited to
protect the privacy of the writer]. I'm
from Chicago but i recently moved to Atlanta,Ga.
But anyways the problem I'm having is sometimes i
can go for hours and sometimes as soon as i put
it in I feel like I have to cum.Before I have sex
sometimes I worry about getting hard and being able
to go long enough to make her happy.Can you help
me with this problem. Thanks alot for your help
-J. from Atlanta
>>>MY COMMENTS<<<
Well I'm willing to bet that it's the times
when you "worry about getting hard" that you
also have that occasional premature ejaculation
problem... hm?
Look, guys are ALWAYS writing to me for advice
on lasting longer... and I have written tons of
great tips that WORK to delay your ejaculation...
But ALL of them, in the end, depend on winning
the "inner game" first...
Whether or not you can get hard is completely
in your head (the one on your shoulders)...
Whether or not you can last longer in bed is
also completely in your head (also the one on your
shoulders).
But somehow guys keep thinking that a trick
or exercise that you do with your BODY is the
solution.
Yes, there are some great techniques with body
and breathing that work amazingly well... and I
talk about ALL of the best ones in my book...
including a few that won't find anywhere else.
But guys just don't want to hear the REST of
what I write in that chapter of the book-- which
is that you MUST WORK ON YOUR SEXUAL CONFIDENCE
first.
You said yourself that sometimes you can last
for hours... well, what makes the difference?
I think you'll find, if you stop to take notice,
that the days when you don't have a problem are
the days you are feeling confident.
So how do you get confident? Well, look, I
talk a lot about that in these newsletters and in
my book as well... but one major secret is that if
you keep working on the TECHNIQUES that I teach,
you will find that OVER TIME, you develop more
CONFIDENCE in your ability to make them work.
Too many guys just give up the first time they
try something.
But like many other skills, learning
total control over your erection is something
that you need to practice.
Eventually you can get hard whenever you want
to, last as long as you like, and come whenever
you like.
But there is no magic bullet. You have to
learn this stuff, and then work at it.
***QUESTION***
Dear Alex, I have a question for you, but I think
that I've already the answer for it.
I want to know Why my girl asks me to stop when
she's going crazy? Well that's my question...
We do a lot for foreplay... And I totally agree
with you about the "all day foreplay"... send
flowers to her and call her during the day to tell
her how much I love her (I'm always sending her
messages with that kind of content) and stuff like
that... Sometimes when I'm reading your newsletter
I realy think that you are reading my mind...
I've learned a lot with your newsletters... and
I think that I'm real close to make my girl come...
I'm using your advice and tips...The most
important lesson that I've learned was paying
attention...I try to do that always... every time...
I really love to turn my girl on... and I do it
with passion... I love to kiss her body...Well ...
the fact is that when I find the rigth rhythm she
starts to move in a different way and she feels
like she wants to scream, she grabs me so strongly...
its real nice but then she asks me to stop...
because she can't take it anymore...she feels like
she wants to scream, and she doesn't want to do
that...
She tells me that she wants more and more, but she
can't do it...
I just want to know if I'm doing something Wrong...
but I believe that she isn't comfortable about the
screaming part... What can you tell me about that...
Thank you for your time... and for your advice...
I'm real close man!
>>>MY COMMENTS<<<
This is such a common problem with women who
can't have an orgasm...
The issue for her is that she just can't let
herself go... she knows she's about to come... and
she can tell that there is this huge amount of
pleasure just on the other side of where she is...
and it SCARES THE HELL OUT OF HER!
It's kind of like that feeling you have when
you get to the top of the roller coaster and it's
about to plunge down that first, steep drop...
It's scary-- but you have no choice by then,
you're going over the side...
And when you do, you SCREAM... and you have a
GREAT TIME.
BUT...
Imagine if there was a button on roller
coasters that people could push, just as they got
to the top of that first hill, that would let them
stop the ride so that they could get off?
Now everyone who got onto that roller coaster
got on because they expected to have a lot of fun...
But I'm willing to bet that if there was a
button like that... that A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD PUSH
IT AND GET OFF THE RIDE.
That's EXACTLY what's happening with your
girlfriend, and with many, many other women who
haven't had an orgasm.
So what can you do about it?
I'm going to give you 2 great tips-- one quick
and easy one... and one really in-depth one.
Try the first one and see if it does the trick...
If not, you'll have to do the work and put in the
time that the second one requires.
The first tip is: play some loud music while
you are making love.
Part of the reason that your girlfriend
doesn't want to go over the edge is that she is
embarrassed by the screaming that might come out
of her. She's afraid because she knows she's not
going to be able to control it...
So, you can encourage her to scream into a
pillow (this works surprisingly well), and you
can play some loud music which will make her less
self-conscious...
Remember, she is not just concerned about
being embarrassed in front of you... but also
she's afraid of what the NEIGHBORS will think if
she really lets loose.
Taking these little steps can really help ease
her mind.
Okay, the second tip is the more involved one,
but it's really the one that you should be
thinking about anyway, because it's going to make
EVERYTHING about your sex life better...
You need to win her SEXUAL CONFIDENCE so that
she can completely SURRENDER herself to you.
Once she does that, instead of giving herself
permission to come, she will surrender that
permission to YOU... she will allow YOU to make
the decision to let loose.
Then it will be as if she is on a normal
roller coaster with no "stop button". She'll
climb the hill, get nervous, but she'll have to
drop over the side anyway-- because she's not
the one in control-- and she'll scream and
have a GREAT TIME.
Winning her sexual confidence involves many
different pieces. But the important ones that
I'll talk about here are, first, you MUST be
patient and you must not JUDGE her if she doesn't
IMMEDIATELY sexually surrender to you.
It may take her some time. And if you get
disappointed or impatient with her progress, you
will destroy the very thing you are trying to
build.
Second, you need to start making her feel like
a sexual creature when she is in your presence--
and you want to make her feel very comfortable
being that sexual creature for you.
And from your email, I know you are very CLOSE
to getting this right... but there is a very
SMALL, very SUBTLE distinction that you are
getting WRONG...
When you wrote that you are doing the "All Day
Foreplay" that I recommend, you used examples like
sending flowers and telling her how much you love
her...
And that is not QUITE right.
The fact is, sending flowers and telling her
how much you love her can go either way in a
relationship.
Some women, if you are too giving, especially
if they are not meeting your level of investment,
begin to feel like they have more POWER in the
relationship.
They SUBCONSCIOUSLY begin to lose respect for
you because they feel like, "this guy is working
so hard to keep me... I must be "higher status" than
he is in our relationship."
Women don't think this in their conscious,
rational mind... it's a subtle thing... but they
will start to take you for granted, and start
treating you in ways that demonstrate that they
think of you as LESS masculine.
This weird effect is the reason that playing
"hard to get" works so well on BOTH sexes. It's
stupid... but it's human nature.
Now, not all women and not all relationships
will respond this way. If she is also buying you
little gifts, getting up early to fix your
favorite breakfast, rubbing your shoulders after
work, and always telling you how much she loves
you too...
Then you are GOOD TO GO. NO WORRIES AT ALL.
Keep doing what you are doing and enjoy the
mutual sweetness that you have created.
If she's not doing those things... I'd seriously
reevaluate your behavior.
Making a woman feel LOVED all day is GREAT, if
she returns that kind of behavior. That's just
beautiful...
But it is NOT All Day Foreplay.
Making a woman feel SEXUAL all day...
That is All Day Foreplay.
Hand her a flower and tell her that you had
to buy it for her because it smells just like her
skin when she gets really sexually aroused in bed...
Call her during the day, not to tell her you
love her, but to tell her what sexual acts you
are going to make her do for you when you get
her into bed later... Or to tell her what to wear
UNDER her dress when she comes over tonight.
The object is to make her feel sexual, and feel
like her sexuality is a good thing-- that her
sexuality is something about her that pleases you
and that you are COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE with.
Because SHE IS NOT completely comfortable with
it... it scares her a bit. But when you
demonstrate over and over again that IT DOES NOT
SCARE YOU at all...
Eventually she "sexually trusts" you enough
to surrender the whole scary thing to you.
It's like she's handing you the keys and saying,
"this baby is too powerful for me... here... you
drive."
Then, when she tells you to stop because she's
afraid that she'll scream or that she "can't take
it," you can just tell her, calmly, confidently,
"just relax, trust me, let it happen," and take
her over the top of that big hill and down that
big drop.
And yes, she'll scream.
And she'll have a GREAT TIME.
If your woman has never had an orgasm, this is
by far the best and most effective way of giving
her the gift of her FIRST orgasm... a gift she
will never forget...
And if your woman is already orgasmic, this is
the best and most effective way to take her to
new and truly unbelievable levels of pleasure that
she never even dreamed existed.
***QUESTION***
I have read lots of articles about girls having
multiple orgasms and that its very rare for a guy
to know how to do it.
When my girlfriend and i have sex, she comes in
like the first couple of minutes and then after
that she cant come again. So i was wondering is it
me or her?
hope to hear from you soon thanks for your help.
- Anonymous
>>>MY COMMENTS<<<
It's you.
And yes, what you read is true-- it is rare
for a man to know how to give a girl multiple
orgasms.
But let's deal with the question you asked--
and why I am so confident about my answer...
Some women can have multiple orgasms quite
easily, and have been experiencing them since
they first began experimenting with masturbation
when they were becoming sexually aware around
puberty.
Other women never have an orgasm in their
entire lives, despite the best efforts of their
lovers.
So, naturally, on some level, you could just
lay the blame on your woman-- she wasn't born
with the "gift" and that's that.
The problem here-- the BIG PROBLEM-- is...
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR WHO TO BLAME IN THE
FIRST PLACE?
As long as you are thinking this way, you are
NEVER going to be great in bed, and you are never
going to really experience the kind of deep
sexual intimacy that true "love making" is all
about.
Making love is a mutual act-- it takes two--
it is NOT just two people individually getting off
in the same room.
So, of course, the only way to break through
and get your girl to a place where she can
experience multiple orgasms is going to be
something that you do TOGETHER.
The way you are thinking now, if your next
girlfriend is a woman who can easily have
multiple orgasms, you will say, "Ah, it was HER
problem all along."
If your next girlfriend can't come at all you
might think, "What is wrong with me?"
The real question must be, is it "both of you"
or "neither of you"?
When you start thinking that way, instead of
looking for who to blame, you will begin earning
her sexual trust.
From there, if you follow the exact steps
outlined in my eBook, you will be able to
introduce your girlfriend to multiple orgasms.
For now, you would do better to focus on WHY
you want to know who to blame. This is a very
telling sign that you need to work more on your
emotional intimacy skills than your sexual skills.
***QUESTION***
How do you please a girl when you're below average?
-Anonymous
>>>MY COMMENTS<<<
So, I'm going to go out on a limb here and just
assume that you mean "below average" in the size
of your penis.
And the first thing I'll have to tell you is
that while your question may just be theoretical,
I'm assuming that you are talking about your self
here...
So, you very likely are NOT actually below
average.
How do I know this?
Because in study after study, men who are
perfectly average in size, when asked to rate
themselves, say that they are "below average."
A sad commentary about the state of men's egos
I guess.
(Or a result of the selection process for the
men who star in "adult entertainment" videos who
are generally in the top 1% for size.)
Anyway, just as women with small breasts have
no problem attracting men-- even though many men
prefer large breasts-- your size is not a big
issue either.
Except, of course, that you have this negative
self-image and go around writing emails calling
yourself "below average."
It is THAT INSECURITY, far more than any
physical attribute, that is holding you back from
being great in bed.
And as long as you continue to identify
yourself as "below average" you will NEVER have
the kind of amazing sex that men with more
confidence are capable of.
Never.
So you MUST deal with that internal issue.
Anyway, to tell you the perfectly obvious, you
can make a woman come until she passes out using
only your finger. I'm assuming that your penis
is larger than your finger?
Read my book, pal. You need it.
And start being nicer to your self. It really
will change EVERYTHING in your life.
***QUESTION***
I have been married for almost 6 yrs. now and sex
is not very often. When we were going together my
wife told me she doesn't have orgasms. She was
right. Are there some women who just don't have
orgasms? When we do make love it is the same old
way every time. She never wants to try anything
new. Would your book be of any help to me?
-D.S.
>>>MY COMMENTS<<<
Yes, man, YES.
YOU NEED TO DOWNLOAD MY BOOK RIGHT NOW.
Listen, more than half of marriages in this
country don't last. And I am just not okay with
that.
It is one of my personal goals with these
newsletters to do my part to help a few of those
couple CONNECT... to help them experience lasting
love.
Making love is a deep form of intimate
COMMUNICATION, and yes, it can save a relationship.
I can hear that you are frustrated with your
wife and her inability have an orgasm. And you
happen to be in that danger zone in your marriage
right now--
You've heard of the "7-year itch?" This is
the time when many couples give up on their
marriages.
So let's fix this:
First of all, you should know that according to
some surveys, as many as 1 in 7 women never have
an orgasm. So there is nothing unusual about your
wife.
Second, you should know that her BELIEF that
she's not going to have an orgasm is definitely
part of the problem.
Third, women who don't have orgasms can still
REALLY ENJOY sex-- and MOST DO... so the fact that
your wife does not want to try anything new is a
serious issue for your marriage and you should take
it very seriously.
I recommend couples counseling. It may not
help, but it will do no harm.
And, of course, I recommend learning how to
give her orgasms and get her engaged in your sex
life.
So, stop what you're doing and download my
eBook RIGHT NOW by clicking this link:
CLICK HERE NOW
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