"Can Any Woman Squirt?"
I really don't know if this is the right
E-mail, but I'm using it anyway to thank you for
all the tips and advice you gave me in your news
I read about female ejaculation and I would
like to know if any girl can squirt...I really want
to give much much pleasure to my girl. Well in fact
I think I've already did, but I want something
I read all your news letters and I try to pay
attention to all her moves and expressions... this
is helping me a lot.
Hey man, glad to hear that my tips have been
working for you. Keep up the good work.
Female Ejaculation or "squirting" seems to be
the subject everyone is interested in these days...
So let's get into your question--
Can any girl squirt?
Well, obviously no big experiments have been
set up at a research lab to see if ANY woman can
experience female ejaculation-- so we can't be
But I think that the answer is probably yes.
That said, there are a lot of reasons why any
particular woman might have more difficulty.
The obvious reason is that there are many couples
who have a lot of trouble even figuring out how to
get the woman to experience any orgasm at all-- much
less female ejaculation.
But to really answer your question fully, let's
talk for a minute about where this squirting comes
There are tiny glands located above a woman's
urethra (the tube that carries urine from the
bladder) that fill with fluid during sexual
stimulation-- these glands, called the intra-
urethral glands (or sometimes called Skene's
glands) are responsible for female ejaculation.
During, or right before, a very powerful orgasm
these glands sometimes squirt into the urethra
where the muscles of the along the outside of the
vagina cause it to squirt out with force.
It seems that particular types of stimulation
cause it to happen, and only when a woman is
relaxed enough to allow it to occur.
If she feels like she has to pee when she is
having an orgasm, it's probably the feeling of
pressure building up in her intra-urethral glands...
she is probably very close to being able to squirt.
Now that you know where it's from, I can better
answer your question... can any woman squirt?
Here's why this is such a difficult question to
The size of these glands is very different from
woman to woman. In some women they are fairly
large, and in other women they are so small that
they are difficult to detect.
In those women where they are very small, the
amount of fluid that might come out during a
female ejaculation would be very, very small.
To add to this situation, the opening where
the glands empty into the urethra also vary in
size-- so much that in some women the holes are
so small that they are virtually non-existent,
meaning that it is possible the no fluid would be
able to escape at all.
What all of this means is that in some women,
even if they are "EXPERIENCING female ejaculation,"
it's possible that so little will actually come
out, that you might not be able to tell for sure.
So don't worry too much about what comes out,
and focus on how she FEELS.
If you want more information on exactly how
to stimulate your woman to achieve female
ejaculation, I have en entire chapter on
female ejaculation techniques in my online eBook-- including a
"trouble-shooting" section with common mistakes
and problems that guys have when trying to get
their girl to squirt.
My wife and I have been married for a little over
2 years, and now have a 2 month old baby at home.
We have a very happy and exciting marriage, but
are having a bit of trouble "getting back into
things" since the arrival of our little girl.
It's not that it's awkward, but honestly, no matter
what I do (and believe me, I've tried EVERYTHING I
can think of, including some of the techniques you
describe) my wife does not get "wet"enough to have
intercourse. The All Day Foreplay helps, and so do
the many, MANY things you've discussed about
foreplay (just before intercourse), but when it
comes time to do it, it hurts her.
This is a frustrating problem for both of us.
We've tried lube and it works, but my wife wants
"the natural way" back.
J. in Arkansas
Hey man, congratulations on your new arrival!
And while I love to hear that you and your
wife are so passionate... calm the heck down.
She gave birth only 2 months ago and you're
worried that things aren't completely back to
Birth does all sorts of whacky stuff to a
woman's body chemistry. If she's breast feeding
you can add that to the equation of things going
on that change her normal chemistry...
These hormones that are flowing through her
affect every system of the body-- and especially
the "female" ones.
Don't get frustrated. Sure the "natural way"
is nice... and I'm sure that it will return to
normal if you give it some time.
For now, don't sweat the small stuff. Enjoy
your time as new parents, and use lube when you
are making love until all systems return to normal.
If you are unhappy with the smell, texture, (or
whatever) of the lube you are using, there are
hundreds of brands out there-- find one you like
And if the problem persists, go see someone
who knows way more about the biological side of
things and get her an appointment with her OB-GYN.
***WISECRACK FROM A READER***
Hey Alex: I really enjoy your newsletters. It's
been a real education. Your knowledge of females
and their sexual foibles/habits/needs, etc.,
prompts me to ask:
Is your name really Alex, or are you really
I'm just not sure if this is a compliment or if
you're coming on to me...
But seriously, I'm taking this as a compliment,
and I'll tell you the truth about taking sex
advice from women--
They usually don't know what they're talking
First of all, every woman is different in what
she likes... but they all seem to THINK they can
speak for all woman-kind.
Every time I read a sex advice article written
by a woman it suggests all sorts of things that I
know many women don't enjoy... but the article
makes it sound like you'll be a big hero "if you
know this one move..."
The second reason that women usually give bad
sex advice is that frequently they are embarrassed
by some of the things that they REALLY enjoy. And
it can be hard for them to admit to some of their
needs-- they want to sound cool and hip...
And they're frankly not sure if other women
feel the same way they do about these things that
turn out to be much more common than the thing
that they are suggesting.
Being dominated or needing emotional tenderness
are 2 good examples of what MANY women wish for in
bed, but you almost never hear female "sex experts"
The 3rd reason is that when a woman is
experiencing truly mind-blowing sex, there is no
way that she has enough mental faculty left to
actually observe what's going on. If she can be
clear with the details, then chances are the sex
wasn't as great as she thought it was.
My advice: Only take sex advice from a woman
if she's a lesbian... not bi... but a lesbian who
has no interest whatsoever in men.
These types of women are usually more attracted
to very "feminine women" who are often bit and
so they feel very competitive towards men-- so
pay more attention to being great in bed than
They can give you some very profound tips...
If you can get them to share.
***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***
I have been reading your newsletters and find
them quite interesting. Alex, I have one big of
a problem here man. I have been married for over
10 years, been with him for over 13 years, and he
has been the only man in my life. The sad truth is
that I have never had an orgasm. I can't blame him
because I have been faking it every time and so he
gets credit for thinking he's been giving me the time
of my life. I don't know how to confess now, cause
I know he will be very hurt. We have 2 handsome
sons and a lot together. However, I am not
satisfied with our sex relation. I get very
desperate and don't want our marriage to end on
the rocks. I don't want to try another man, and
here I am losing out on this wonderful experience
everyone talks about. Any helpful tips?
- RS, New York
>>> MY COMMENTS
This is a very tricky situation and I hope that
you understand that it is impossible for me to
give you the kind of relationship advice that you
I give what I believe to be truly excellent
advice about sex... but I am not an expert on
relationships, and I have no degree in psychology...
So, with that said, I've got some thoughts on
your situation-- but it is for YOU to decide if
what I am saying is useful or not. After all, you
have 13 years of experience in this relationship,
and I've only got 1 email's worth of information.
First, I understand the incredible complexity
of even thinking about revealing to your husband
that you've been deceiving him for all of these
years about your sexual satisfaction. If you do
decide to come clean with him, I suggest you begin
by saying how ashamed you are of the secret, and
how it was shame in your own short-comings that
originally led you to begin the lie.
The reason I think that you should come from
this approach is because it is almost certainly
When you first started "faking it" it probably
wasn't to save his feelings that HE wasn't very
good in bed-- but really because of your own ego...
Not being able to have an orgasm made you feel
inadequate and you were afraid you might lose
him if he knew.
That's why most women "fake it". They are
The reason that I mention this is because it
sounds like you are now starting to think that
maybe it's HIM and not YOU.
And the very simple truth is that in ALL of
these situations it is ALWAYS... BOTH OF YOU.
It's hard to get an accurate number on these
things, but from the best information available,
1 out of 7 women NEVER have an orgasm in their
Which means you might throw away a 10 year
marriage, sleep with 10 different guys in the
following year, and still not get any closer to
having that orgasm.
Not a good idea in my opinion.
The fact is, it has been my experience that
most of these women CAN be coached into
experiencing an orgasm with a willing partner
and the right INFORMATION.
But the big frustration is... how can you work
on the situation WITH HIM if he doesn't know the
That is a very tough question.
And it's one that only you can answer. But
this much is certain, every woman has different
sexual needs-- even if you ended up going to bed
with some guy that one of your friends said was a
great lay, there's a good chance that you wouldn't
I believe that working to keep a marriage,
especially one where there are children involved,
and it very clearly sounds like you care about
each other... I think that has very high value.
Giving up rather than face this situation that
YOU created by not being honest with him... well,
again, you've got 13 years and I've only got one
email... but it sounds to me like that would be
Here's some thoughts...
You could work on it by yourself for a little
If you have not done so, I highly recommend
you go out and get yourself a vibrator. Find
some time when you can be completely alone for a
good hour or two...
Pour yourself a glass of wine, light some
candles, take a long bath, and get yourself as
relaxed as you can. Then lay down in bed and
experiment with the vibrator.
Don't go in with orgasm as the goal. Just see
if you can make yourself feel good. If you find
a spot where it starts to feel really good... just
keep it right there. There may come a time when
you feel your adrenaline going and it even feels
like it would unpleasant to keep it there-- like
just too much... even a panic-like feeling...
If you get to that place, stay right there and
see if you can just surrender to it. If you can
hold out, you might find something great on the
It might not happen the first time.
Once you experience an orgasm for the first
time, you might be able to coach him into getting
you there too. Oral sex will be, by far, your
best bet for him getting you there the first time.
Can you do all of this without him ever finding
out that until recently you hadn't been able to
Maybe. You could tell him that your friend who
previously thought her sex life was good was now
having incredibly better sex because of this book that
her husband bought on the Internet and see if he's
interested in checking it out.
Then send him over to my site...
But I tend to think that honesty with the man
you love-- even if it is hard as hell in the
beginning-- might just end up renewing your
relationship in wonderful ways.
But remember-- blame yourself. Men can have
really delicate egos, and this conversation is
going to be very dangerous for both of you
He may be very angry with you-- even
irrationally angry as he comes to terms with both
the lie and his own feelings of inadequacy... even
if those feelings are not rational.
You may find yourself feeling a lot of
resentment about his anger-- especially after an
act of so much courage in coming clean. Be prepared
to stick it out for a while.
Maybe find yourself a good marriage counselor
that you both trust and can feel comfortable with.
Finally, remember that many women never have
an orgasm-- but far fewer women have a happy,
loving marriage that lasts a lifetime.
It is possible that you will never find a man
that can give you an orgasm, but you have already
found something that is far more valuable.
Working TOGETHER to solve this would probably
be the best thing for both of you.
And, of course, it would be easier to get him
to start reading these Newsletters, and even get
the book and read it TOGETHER.
Perhaps, if you downloaded it, you might find
ways to subtly direct and encourage him to try
some new things that might work for you.
But so many of the ideas in the book really
need to be read by the man because they involve
changing his thinking more than his physical
Once a man understands how to think and
communicate in the right way, his ability to
please a woman in bed changes completely.
I wish you the best of luck in however you
decide to handle the situation.
If you want more information on the book, of
course, you can always find it right here:
CLICK HERE NOW